"Am I addicted to pushing people down the stairs? Well, that all depends, define 'stairs'."
Socrates love is when you love asking questions more than you love not drinking hemlock.
Diotima Teaches Socrates Love
Oracle of Delphi: "also, no one is Athens is hornier than Socrates."
Socrates Invents Western Civilization
"Oh and also, if you ever write any of this down, Plato, make sure to record how much I like gay sex."
Socrates the Cop
The other cops don't know how ignorant they are of what justice really is.
Philosophy Job Interview
This is exactly how interviews go for philosophy professors and no one can convince me otherwise.
"A bad teacher you say? Well, it sure seems like you know a lot about 'badness'. I agree, you do know about that one, because you are a bad student."
Diogenes and Plato
By the way, if you are being bullied in school, the advice you will often get from your parents and teachers is to ignore them and they will stop. This is bad advice. Trust me, if you bite them, that will be the end of it.
"But wait, if you order in the next 15 minutes, we'll throw in a Existentialism for free! You'll be in profound, inescapable despair in no time!"
Emo Plato: "If you are in a cave with a bunch of happy people, and you go outside and discover how sad everything is, you are obligated to go back into the cave and totally bum everyone out until they are just as sad as you."
Socrates Gets Socrates'd
"Man, I can see why they wanted to kill me."
If you've noticed any characters appearing and disappearing, it isn't because the artist is lazy, it is because an evil demon is deceiving you.
Socrates on the Lake
Although on second thought, what even is the nature of "winning an argument?"
"What are you doing with that tranquillizer gun?" "Tranquillizer gun? This is a hemlock gun."
"What, is it in present day or ancient Greece?" "Uh...another power that Socratesman has is time travel..."
Wise or Not Wise
"But Socrates, what will you do with the million?" "I'll tell you what I'll do, two Athenian boy lovers...AT THE SAME TIME!"
Good Cop, Pragmatist About the Nature of Truth Cop
In the end the jury decided that truth was more about a coherence between ideas themselves, and also that Socrates was a dick, so we might as well kill him.
Gottfried Leibniz and the Quest for the Holy Grail
The French guy is being played by Voltaire, of course.
It's pretty shocking that Socrates's strategy of giving a 30 minute speech on why all the people who were about to judge him were stupid idiots didn't work out for him
A very spooky philosophy Halloween
Camus came dressed as himself, because what is really scary is how sexy he is.
Hypatia of Alexandria and the Seven Presocratics
Later on, Socrates forgot that he poisoned the apple, and ate it himself. Plato had to make up this whole story about an apology, because it was just too embarrassing.
When you think about it, any club can be a fight club with enough spirit.
The Socratic Method
"Oracle of Delphi, who is the most obnoxious man in all of Athens?" "Certainly you are, Socrates"